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Saturday 31 December 2011

Happy New Year!

Solely because I LOVE making lists (and who doesn't?) - here is a list of random things I probably won't do but look cool in a list my New Year's Resolutions!
  1. learn to play the guitar (so I can be the cool kid who gets to pick the songs played around the campfire)
  2. contrive a group of friends who will sit around campfire with me (re: 1)
  3. learn to do the splits (see 4)
  4. learn to raise my leg up to my head (you ask why? So that one day, if I'm in a Mission Impossible type situation, I can somehow knock out all the bad guys with just the power of my one, mystical, up-to-my-head-lifting leg).
  5.  read 1 book a week (so I don't get stupid. Since clearly a college education isn't doing its job ...). Read in Russian and French and English, so I can be a super-duper spy. (see 4)
  6. practice calligraphy (so I can read my own to-do lists. Wait, I was supposed to bg Dalls pressm? Oh, buy Jill's present ... yesterday ... for her birthday party ... today ... in 2 hours ...)
  7. write in a journal every day (so when I become rich and famous, I have plenty of material to give to my ghost writer for my autobiography).
  8. learn to do the rubix cube. Quickly. Yea yea, I know it's SO 2003, but it's one of those dreams that has gone unfulfilled in years past. (Big dreams, I have).
  9. Fool the hoity-toity crowd by frequenting such establishments as museums, galleries and concert halls. Speak profoundly on the artist's clear deep-seated issues with his mother as expressed in his use of colour and shape and his repressed homosexuality. Impress self with own ability to bullshit.
  10. And the king of all New Year's Resolutions? .... Lose weight. Because the world could use another Victoria's Secret Angel. My wings need a bit of a dusting-off.